When you find out about your pregnancy for the first time, you explode with happiness, but you are also filled with fears and doubts about the responsibilities that come, forgetting about your partner and your sexuality during those months.
At Zenzsual we help you understand and manage all those changes that can ruin your most intimate moments .
Despite all the information available, it still seems that pregnancy is a stage in which a woman's sexuality disappears . Nobody talks about it, everyone focuses on the baby, and inside, we have a lot of uncertainty, anxiety and even a feeling of guilt for thinking about pleasure. Reason why, many times we do not know who to ask and we even avoid talking about it.
Prepare for changes in your body
To solve this dilemma, start by informing yourself about what will happen to you at this stage. Beyond the typical symptoms of pregnancy (such as nausea, vomiting, drowsiness, fatigue and edema); that can influence your sexual life, a set of natural changes also appear in your body during pregnancy that you must take into account and know how to face with maturity and calm knowing that it is momentary and that everything will return to its place:
Changes related to your physical appearance:
- The obvious increase in weight and volume of your abdomen.
- Your hips are widened to facilitate childbirth.
- Increased lubrication in the vagina and increased sensitivity.
- Change in vaginal discharge that can vary in texture and amount with a more acidic pH, possibly to protect you from possible infections.
- Your breasts undergo spectacular changes from the first moment:
- Increase in size and firmness.
- The areolas are enlarged.
- The skin is stretched and reveals the blood vessels.
- The erectile capacity of the nipples increases and they are much more sensitive.
- Montgomery's tubercles appear, glands that come to lubricate the areola and the nipples.
- Your skin changes . It gets more greasy. Some areas darken, such as the face, neck, areolas, and the genital mucosa take on a more violet hue. The midline of the navel is more noticeable downwards. In addition, stretch marks may appear due to the rapid distension and loss of elasticity of the skin.
- The mouth also undergoes changes : you are susceptible to suffering from a lot of inflammation and bleeding of the gums and you have a higher incidence of cavities. Your lips tend to get dry and chapped. For this reason, we recommend that you be rigorous with the daily cleaning of your teeth, visit the dentist preventively and keep your lips hydrated with a bar or lipstick that contains cocoa butter.
- Throughout pregnancy the muscles of your pelvic floor are constantly subjected to higher pressure than usual . Constipation appears and the hormones that you secrete (relaxin and progesterone) can cause the ligaments of the perineal and abdominal region to relax excessively. The abdomen distends (relaxes), decreasing the tone of the muscles that can weaken. Consequently, during the last trimester stress urinary incontinence may appear, which you recognize by the small leaks of urine when coughing, sneezing, laughing out loud. Keep in mind that it is also possible to present the prolapse of your pelvic organs and even anal incontinence (when your feces come out without control).
This dangerous situation can continue after the birth of the baby and to avoid it, it is extremely important that you perform your Kegel exercises under medical recommendation. Remember that you can help yourself with VagiYoga , our vaginal exerciser specially designed to strengthen this muscle.
- Some women may experience pelvic pain during the early months of pregnancy, as the bones and ligaments move and stretch to accommodate the fetus. It is a localized pain below the abdomen and between the hip bones (pelvis). It can be sharp, intermittent, and resemble menstrual cramps. It is usually temporary and not a cause for concern. If it continues, see your doctor.
- You will also be able to notice changes related to other parts of your body, such as the heart and kidneys, as part of your body's adaptation process in this important task, which means giving life to another being.
Psychological changes during pregnancy
Everything impacts your sexual life in those 9 months, your work, your religious beliefs, your habits and of course, your relationship: how much you communicate, the level of commitment, future plans together, the sexual life you had and to the information they have about what happens in sexuality during pregnancy, as well as their fears and beliefs.
Among the most relevant aspects that you should know, take into account that:
- You may feel insecure or afraid of the changes in your body. This transformation can alter your erotic image, making you forget your role as seducer and seduced; and to think that your partner will stop seeing you as a lover, with a negative influence on the sexual activity of the couple and on the sexual response of both.
- Your partner will also have a way of receiving or perceiving the physiological changes that will take place in your body and how they will deal with parenthood, recognizing that they are also vulnerable due to their own anxieties and fears, especially fear of harming the baby, which it is false!. Therefore, it is normal that you may have less sexual desire.
- Each case is different! You have to consider how old you are when you get pregnant, your expectations and the conditions that surround you. It is not the same if you are a teenager, it is a desired baby or not, it is the first child or you have several or if you are coming from a process after years of infertility. Whatever the case, the arrival of a baby in the relationship supposes readaptations where communication is essential.
If you feel that the situation overwhelms you, asking for help is the healthiest thing to do. A SexCoaching session during pregnancy will help you understand the situation and find the way to assume all these brutal changes in a more intelligent way, without so much drama and with the goal of continuing to be happy, to prepare to receive the baby in a way calm and focused, because if you are happy, the baby will surely be too. Visit our website where you will find that help that we talked about with our specialists.
Leave behind the false beliefs of sexuality during pregnancy
It is time to get rid of those absurd baseless myths that keep you from living a healthy sexuality during your pregnancy. Here we list some of those recurring misconceptions:
- Fear of harming the baby with penetration : Physiologically under normal conditions, there are no chances that the penis will harm the baby. To stay calm, choose positions that are comfortable for both of you, considering your new body structure. And during the last trimester, choose less risky positions and leave very strong movements or acrobatic jumps for later.
- Fear of feeling fetal movements : it is unlikely (if not impossible!) that during sexual intercourse the man will feel the movements of the baby with his penis inside the vagina. Put stress aside and focus on enjoying the moment together. Convey security, feeling comfortable with your physical appearance for those months.
- Concern about promoting premature labor: if you have a healthy pregnancy without risks identified by your doctor, you feel good, you do not feel pain associated with the pregnancy, sex will be and should be pleasant for both of you.
- Seeing the pregnant woman as an "asexual" being, exclusively dedicated to procreation : nothing could be further from the reality of today's woman! Let everyone know that the woman retains the same desires and aspirations in her life, which will be enriched by the arrival of the baby. She does not stop being who she was before, rather it is complemented by her new role as a pregnant woman and mother-to-be.
- Thinking that sex during pregnancy is uncomfortable, dangerous, immoral or indecent : So simple that we must consider that, added to all the changes in your body, you are still the same woman, with the same needs and desires to please.
Take advantage of sexual intercourse during pregnancy
- You do not need any contraceptive method if you have a stable partner.
- If you have a good relationship , increase the connection and complicity with your partner.
- Encourages the active participation of both parents in the pregnancy.
- If it was difficult for you to get pregnant, it is time to enjoy your sexuality spontaneously without thinking about thermometers, calendars or special days of the cycle to be able to have your relationships.
- At the end of the pregnancy, the semen helps improve neck conditions for a shorter labor.
Preparing the pelvic floor for childbirth or caesarean section
The muscles that make up the pelvic floor tend to weaken during pregnancy. Kegel exercises are highly recommended to strengthen the pelvic muscles before, during and after pregnancy and to be effective, you must be consistent and practice them daily. What few people know is that they also help you become aware of the relaxation of that area (reverse Kegel), something that is vital to achieving a trauma-free labor.
Lean on our VagiYoga , a vaginal exerciser that guides you in performing your Kegel exercises correctly and helps you monitor your practice daily. In this video on our YouTube channel we teach you how to use it! With an adequate practice of the technique, discipline and a lot of regularity you will achieve multiple benefits:
- Quickly return to your activities and prevent urinary incontinence when you laugh, cough, sneeze or jump, which during pregnancy can be aggravated by the weight of the baby.
- Reduce the possibility of suffering from hemorrhoids during pregnancy and after childbirth
- Reduce the risk of tears and facilitate childbirth
- Prevent the risk of prolapse or leakage of the bladder, uterus or other organs
- Increase pleasure and recover your sexual life after childbirth, with Kegel exercises that improve the muscle tone of the vaginal walls
When is it not advisable to have sexual intercourse during pregnancy?
See your doctor if you have had any of these complications:
- History or threat of repeated miscarriages.
- Low placenta or threat of premature labor.
- Vaginal bleeding during pregnancy.
- Contractions earlier than normal.
- Suffering from an uncontrolled disease such as diabetes or preeclampsia (linked to uncontrolled blood pressure).
- If there is an ectopic pregnancy, which happens when the fertilized egg becomes trapped in the fallopian tube, causing pain and bleeding.
- Any other disease that your doctor has warned you about.
You can continue expanding this information about the dilemmas of being a mother and our sexuality, in the informative talk that we offer you in our online store called: "How to be a mother and not lose your sexuality in the attempt?" . A fabulous compendium of entertaining information, in which together with our friend and ambassador Zenzsual, the blogger @KatyFerrer (Katy Mom Style) , we share 5 modules, where we explain why your desire is low, why you suffer from vaginal dryness and others changes we experience in our sexuality when we are mothers. And most importantly, we give you simple tools to solve those problems and live a full life as a mother, wife, lover and friend.