How to rediscover and reinvent your sexuality in motherhood

Have you ever wondered how you can be a good mother and a good lover at the same time? Do you feel that motherhood has affected your sexuality in any way? Would you like to reconcile your role as a mother with your role as a lover and enjoy a full and happy sexuality?

If your answer is yes, this article is for you. We will give you some practical and effective advice so that you can live your motherhood without giving up your sexuality.

But before getting into the matter, let's define what we mean by being a mother and being a lover. Being a mother is assuming the responsibility of caring, educating and protecting your children, giving them unconditional love, attention and support. Being a lover is expressing your eroticism, your passion and your desire towards your partner, giving them pleasure, fun and emotional connection.

Both roles are important and fundamental to a woman's emotional well-being, but can sometimes conflict or create difficulties. Therefore, in this article we are going to show you how you can:

• Recognize and accept the changes that motherhood implies in your sexuality.
• How to create spaces and moments for sex without neglecting motherhood.
• Explore and experience your sexuality without fear or guilt.

Are you ready to reconcile your role as a mother with your role as a lover? Read on and find out how to do it!

Acknowledge and accept your changes

One of the first steps to reconcile your role as a mother with your role as a lover is to recognize and accept the changes that motherhood implies in your sexuality. These changes can be of different types: physical, emotional and social.

Physical changes refer to the transformations that your body undergoes during and after pregnancy, such as weight gain or loss, stretch marks, scars, flaccidity, vaginal dryness, pain during sex, etc. These changes can affect your self-image and self-esteem, making you feel less attractive or desirable.

Emotional changes refer to changes in your mood due to hormonal fluctuations, tiredness, stress, anxiety, the postpartum situation, etc. These changes can affect your libido and your readiness for sex, making you feel less interested or motivated.

Social changes refer to the modifications that your environment experiences due to the arrival of a new member in the family, such as the lack of intimacy, the interruption of children, the pressure of responsibilities, the expectations of the couple or the society etc These changes can affect your communication and relationship with your partner, making you feel less connected or fulfilled.

All these variabilities are normal and understandable, but they do not have to be permanent or decisive. The important thing is that you recognize and accept them without denying or rejecting them. To do this, you can do the following:

• Talk to your partner about how you feel and what you need. Express your fears, your doubts, your desires and your limits. Also listen to what he tells you and try to understand his point of view. Look for joint solutions that benefit both of you.

• Talk to other mothers about their experiences and their advice. Share with them your experiences and your emotions. Learn from your successes and your mistakes. Find support and understanding from women who have been through the same thing as you.

• Talk to a professional if you need to. If you feel that the changes are too intense or long-lasting, or if they cause you discomfort or suffering, do not hesitate to consult a doctor, psychologist or sexologist. They can help you identify and treat possible physical or psychological problems that affect your sexuality.

• Recognizing and accepting the changes that motherhood implies in your sexuality has many benefits. It allows you to have greater confidence, security, self-esteem and sexual openness. It allows you to enjoy more of your body and your pleasure. It allows you to live your sexuality without guilt or shame. It allows you to be a better mother and a better lover.

Why is it difficult to reconcile motherhood and sexuality?

Many women wonder why it is so difficult to reconcile motherhood and sexuality, two fundamental aspects of their lives. The answer is not simple, since there are many factors that can influence this balance.

Some of the main obstacles that arise when combining both roles are:

• Fatigue: motherhood involves great physical and mental wear and tear, which can leave little room for sex. Childcare, housework, work and other obligations can drain a mother's energy and spirit.
• Stress: motherhood brings a high level of demand and responsibility, which can generate anxiety and tension. The pressure to meet their own expectations and those of others, daily problems, worries and fears can affect the relaxation and enjoyment of mothers.
• Lack of time: motherhood implies a greater occupation and dedication, which can reduce opportunities for sex. Attention to children, family activities, social and personal commitments can subtract time and availability for mothers.
• The routine: Motherhood brings greater stability and predictability, which can decrease passion and interest in sex. The repetition of the same activities, times, places and ways of relating can cause boredom and monotony in mothers.
• Social demands: motherhood leads to greater exposure and evaluation by society, which can condition sexuality. Stereotypes, prejudices, norms and taboos about what a mother should be like and what a lover should be like can influence mothers' behavior and attitudes.
• Hormonal changes: motherhood implies an alteration in the functioning of the organism, which can modify sexuality. Levels of estrogen, progesterone, oxytocin, and other substances can vary during pregnancy, postpartum, lactation, and menopause, affecting mothers' desire, arousal, and orgasm.

All of these obstacles can lead to feelings of guilt, frustration, insecurity, or conflict in some women as they try to be a good mother and a good lover at the same time. Some women may feel that they have to choose between one role or another, or that they have to sacrifice or give up one of them. Other women may feel that they are not up to either role, or that they are not capable of meeting the needs or demands of their partner or their children.

However, there is no magic or unique formula to solve this dilemma. Each woman must find her own balance according to her circumstances, preferences and needs. The important thing is that you don't compare yourself to other women or judge yourself. The idea is that you always work on your happiness and well-being as a woman.

How to reconcile your role as a mother with your role as a lover: 10 practical tips

If you want to reconcile your role as a mother with your role as a lover and enjoy a full and happy sexuality, we give you 10 practical tips that can help you:

• Prioritize your sexuality: do not leave it for the end of the day, when you are tired and without desire. Look for times when you feel most active and receptive. Give time and attention to your sexuality, as you do to other areas of your life. Make sex a priority, not an obligation or a prize.

• Communicate with your partner: express what you feel, what you want and what you need. Also listen to what he tells you and try to understand him. Do not take anything for granted or be left with doubts. Talk to him about your changes, your difficulties, your fantasies and your proposals. Find a suitable space and time to have an honest and open conversation.

• Be flexible and creative: don't pigeonhole yourself in just one way of living your sexuality. Adapt to the circumstances and look for alternatives. Don't limit yourself to intercourse or the bedroom. Explore other erogenous zones, other sexual practices, other places or moments. Use your imagination and surprise your partner with something new and different.

• Take care of your body and your mind: do not neglect or abandon yourself. Eat well, exercise, get enough sleep, relax and have fun. Pamper yourself and your partner. Dress in clothes that make you feel comfortable and sexy. Use a perfume or accessory that you like. Do something that makes you feel good about yourself and your sexuality.

• Plan dates with your partner. It doesn't have to be formal or expensive, just set aside time to be together, without interruptions or distractions. It can be a romantic dinner at home, a trip to the movies, a walk in the park or whatever you like best. The important thing is that they dedicate attention and affection to each other.

• Take advantage of opportunities. Sometimes you don't have to wait for a date to have sex. You can take advantage of the moments when your children are at school, at a friend's or relative's house, or simply asleep. You can also look for moments of intimacy on a daily basis, such as a passionate kiss in the kitchen, a caress on the sofa or a hug in bed.

• Look for alternative places. If the bedroom has become a routine or boring place for sex, other options can be explored inside or outside the house. For example, the bathroom, the living room, a hotel or even an outdoor place. The important thing is that it be a safe, comfortable and discreet place.

• Sexuality is not limited to vaginal intercourse. There are other ways to express love and desire, such as caresses, kisses, massages, oral or manual sex, etc. These practices can be very pleasurable and help maintain the connection and passion with the couple.

• find out. Information is power. In our blogs we always share content about female sexuality. Know your body, your cycles, your erogenous zones and your sexual responses. Learn about the changes that occur during pregnancy, childbirth and the postpartum period and how they can affect your sexuality. Consult your doctor or gynecologist with any questions or concerns you have about your sexual and reproductive health.

• Dare to try new things. Sexuality is diverse and creative. Don't limit yourself to what you already know or what you are supposed to do.

It is not only about sex, but also about affection, intimacy, pleasure and well-being. Sexuality does not disappear in the life of mothers, but is transformed and adapts to the physical, emotional and social changes that occur at this stage.

Keep your body and hormonal environment ready for the perfect moment

It is necessary to create spaces for sex without neglecting motherhood. This implies taking advantage of the opportunities when the children are sleeping, when they are in the care of another person, when they are at school, etc.

Everything has its time, and it is perfectly possible to enjoy sexuality during maternity, as long as you are prepared. How to take advantage of these opportunities?

To help you take advantage of these opportunities, we offer you from 20% to 60% discount on the kits for the month of Mothers 🤩 

Conclusion

Motherhood is a wonderful experience that changes women's lives in many ways. However, it can also be challenging for female sexuality, as it involves physical, emotional, hormonal, and social changes that can affect desire, satisfaction, and frequency of sexual intercourse.

Many women feel that their sexuality is relegated or limited by motherhood, whether due to fatigue, lack of time, routine, stress, bodily changes, or difficulties in reconciling the role of mother with that of lover. However, motherhood also implies an opportunity to rediscover and reinvent sexuality, to discover new sensations, fantasies, desires, practices or sexual toys that can enrich the intimate lives of women and their partners.

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